Since so many of you recommended babywise I went out and bought the book yesterday and I am in the process of reading it. I started Olivia this morning on the feed, wake and nap schedule. The first nap went great no crying at all but she was pretty tired. The second nap not so great. I had to let her cry and it was pretty difficult. She would cry then stop then cry then stop and 2 or 3 times she was wailing for a 30 seconds or so but eventually would stop and she finally went to sleep.
A lot of the books I read said that you couldn't spoil a newborn and you shouldn't let them cry and during the first two weeks I held her all the time and I would always rock her to sleep and there were quite a few times that I let her nurse to sleep when I shouldn't have.
I had mixed feelings about pacifers but I caved in and gave her one. She loved it. This past week I would give it to her and she would fall asleep and as soon as it fell out of her mouth she would cry bloody murder. That is when I decided I needed to do something because I wasn't getting hardly any sleep during some nights.
Babywise makes sense that I need to get her on a routine and teach her how to sooth herself to sleep. I do have a couple of questions:
1. What is the longest amount of time you let you baby cry? It is hard to hear her cry but I am assuming in 3-5 days it will get better.
2. How long did you keep your baby awake after a feeding during the first couple of weeks? Did you increase the awake time once your baby was older? I haven't come across how long I should keep the baby awake. Right now I am trying to nurse for 20-30 minutes, keep her awake for 15 minutes then put her down for a nap so she can learn to wind down. I was planning on keep her awake longer once she learned how to soother herself to sleep quickly.
Any advice is appreciated. Many thanks from a very tired but determined mom.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
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8 comments:
I used babywise, too. I didn't start it until John was about a month old.
It is really hard to know what to do in the first few weeks/month of their life. I had read similar things about how you can't spoil a newborn. Plus, as a new mom I wanted to spoil my newborn! Hello! I had waited years for that!!!
It is hard to stick to the sleep, eat, awake cycle. I encourage you to try to do it, though. Just do the best you can and what works for you. I felt like it really helped John get a schedule - and therefore I got a schedule, too. As far as crying it out goes, it is really hard to do. It pulls on your heartstrings and filled me with guilt. So if you decided to let Olivia cry it out, make sure you can be somewhere far enough away you don't hear it too much. Turn up the TV or something. Once I did it, I was really glad I had.
It didn't even take 5 days. The first night was bad (about 1 hour 15 minutes), the second night was better (about 20 minutes) and after that it was just little fusses here and there when I put him in his crib. An hour is probably too long for a nursing newborn... John was a little older by the time I let him cry it out that long. Anyway, keep in mind that you are working on building a good foundation for Olivia to sleep well her entire childhood.
About pacifiers, I had mixed feelings too. But I let John have one. The bottom line is babies like to suck. That is the one thing they can do from birth. I didn't want my nipples to be the pacifier, so I gave him a pacifier when he wasn't hungry but wanted to suck. John still uses one (he is 18 months) for his sleep-time. In the next few months I plan on eliminating it totally, but for now he knows it is only for sleep and that is fine with me.
To answer Question 2: I kept my baby awake anywhere from 5-20 minutes. I let him lead on how long was good. Sometimes he was more alert, other times he wasn't. I think the purpose of the awake time (even if it is 2 minutes) is to teach the baby that eating does not equal "time to sleep." So go with your gut about how long awake time is enough. You may have to experiment. When I did this method, I didn't do any awake time during the night time feedings.
About nursing... it will get easier. My sister told me to stick it out for a month before I quit. By then I was better at helping John nurse and he was a better nurser. Every one is different, but it took me about 45 minutes (20 on each side) to nurse John. It wasn't until he was 4-6 months old that it was down to about 10 minutes per side. I only mention this because if you are nursing her only 20-30 minutes then maybe she is still hungry.
I felt like the first several weeks all I did was nurse, put him down for a nap, go to the bathroom/brush teeth/eat, and then he was awake again for the next round.
One more thing - I forgot where I learned this but having your baby "sleep through the night" is considered a 5-6 hour block of sleep at a time.
Good luck!!!
Amanda has good advice. Its kind of a slow process at first, I think. I kept Brielle up the full 45 min-1hour. That was including her feeding time. But Brielle ate super fast. My mom kept telling me she must still be hungry, but I knew she wasn't because she wouldn't even be interested...I think it was about 20-30 minutes is all, sometimes less. I recommend reading the entire book right away. I kind of read as I went and there is a lot more advice throughout the whole book. Don't just read to your babies age because it all works together. And there is great advice and questions at the end.
We didn't let Brielle cry it out until we got a two bedroom and she was almost 6 months. It was a long six months and I wish I would have done it around 4 months. But that was just at night. During the day Brielle really slept the two hours every time unless she got woken up by something or someone. I can't really remember how the first few weeks went though...I just remember one night where she woke up around midnight and would not go back to sleep until around 3!! That was not fun. But I just got up and watched TV and let her sit in her chair until I finally nursed to back to sleep. I also remember now that we had to drive at least an hour in Hawaii to get to town and that helped her sleep and probably get used to the schedule. I would walk around the mall in New Mexico or we would walk to other places and I would have her in her car seat in the stroller for her naps. So we were probably on the move for at least one of her naps if not two. That might help at first. If she can just get used to the schedule--it will set right in. With a few bumps along the way (ie teething, sickness, baby just being a baby). Don't get frustrated...well you pretty much are guaranteed to...but just take it one day at a time. Everyday will be different. And the book is more a guideline than a rule!!
Brielle was a sucker and I did give her a pacifier too. She was like a little parana (the flesh eating fish). That is why my nipples bled! She still likes to suck on her bottle. She kept her binkie in pretty well as she got older. If you can let her fall asleep with it and then take it out yourself after she is asleep. Sometimes that helps them get used to not sleeping with it. Also, we had the velcro sleeping pads and she would turn her face into the side and it would keep her binkie in for her. Brielle gave hers up around 10 months--on her own. But now she is addicted to the bottle. When we do it again I am going straight to the sippy cup when I stop breast feeding. Of course she will have a bottle when I pump, but when my milk is gone so is the bottle and breast. Who knows if it will work. Kids are so different. I think binkies are fine..and easier to give up than a bottle. Cause there is milk in a bottle.
Can't wait to see you!
I followed babywise kind of loosely, I have to confess that I never read the book, I just talked to people about it and I followed the sleep eat wake cycle.
This is totally my opinion and just what I did, but I would rock Teagan to sleep for the first month or two simply because it only took a few minutes and I LOVE that special time and I love rocking babies. I didn't really care what everyone said about holding them too much because I'd been waiting to have my own baby to rock for so long, and I want him to know how much I love him!
When it started taking longer 20-30min we decided it was time to teach him to sooth himself (maybe at 2 or 3 months). At first I rocked him until his eyes got pretty droopy then lay him down and he'd go down easily. Now he is used to being put down when he is drowsy after being rocked and sang to for about 5 minutes.
Even though I didn't follow babywise to a T I still feel that Teagan is an amazing sleeper/napper. He sleeps 11-12 hrs straight at night and has since he was 3 or 4 months old. He also takes 2 really good naps.
If you do decide to let her cry herself to sleep right now I heard a method where you lay them down and wait 5 min before going in to give them back the binkie and sooth them, then wait 10 and go back, then 15...until they sleep. It worked really well for Teagan and only took 2 nights.
I will give my 2 cents--you asked for it! The Very best book I have read is the "happiest baby on the block" it worked WONDERS for my babies. It teaches about the "art" of swaddling ect for babies to sleep. Every one of my pediatricians has told me not to put the baby on a certain bedtime sleep schedule until they are 5-6 months(like making them cry to sleep) it does take a couple weeks for them to get the days and nights a little more right. That just takes time. You will never get this time with her back, there is no problem nursing her to sleep. She is a tiny newborn for heaven sake!!! I agree when they say you cannot spoil a newborn.
Sorry, but one more thing, sometimes they say that keeping a newborn awake when they want to sleep can interfere with their nightime sleep too....
I agree with the last poster. I don't think you can spoil a newborn and I believed in breast-feeding on demand. Babies need to eat a certain amount a day to make sure they are meeting their nutrition requirements. In general, it is every 2-3 hours for the first couple of months. Just hang in there. My babies ate when they were hungry and slept when they were tired. I did lay them down to start a schedule after they were a month. When i noticed they were acting sleepy, I would place them in there beds awake. That way they weren't being nursed to sleep. My pediatrician said by six months babies should not NEED any night feedings, so that was the age I let my babies cry it out to sleep through the night completely. My babies all cried for about 1 hour plus for a couple of nights, then it lessened quickly until they sleep through. But, again that wasn't until 6 months. This worked well for me. My children all set their own schedules as they got a little older. About a month they were napping regularly.
Sorry this is a little late, but I thought I would give my two cents. We didn't let Kate cry it out until she was 3-4 months old, before that we rocked her to sleep. She is a GREAT sleeper now and can put herself to sleep. I also just fed on demand. I think it made her more full during the day so she didn't need those feedings at night. My pediatrician told me the same thing--that the more feedings she had in the day, the more she would sleep and it really was true.
Another good book to read is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." I loved it because it gave ideas for different styles of parenting--those that didn't want to let their baby cry it out, those in the middle, and those that did want their baby to cry it out. It also breaks it up according to the age of the child. I didn't follow it word for word, but got some great ideas from there that we still use.
With nursing, one thing we would do is try not to have Kate bundled up because for the first three weeks, she would fall asleep so easily. We would get her down to her diaper, and that seemed to help. Keep going strong!
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