Should I be nervous...

Week 6-9 were a piece of cake compared to week 10. And I suspect it is just the beginning of this stage of morning sickness. I am trying to be a lot more proactive this time and try to eat every 2-3 hours but it really is a big pain in the butt to do that at work. I am in the mode of counting down to week 14-16. I remember being sick with Olivia until I was five months along but I think it started to wear off somewhere around week 16. So hopefully Thanksgiving can be enjoyable and I should be feeling awesome by the time Christmas comes.

And it seems like my sense of smell really picked up or more smells just make me sick. And this might be TMI but what about bladder incontinence when I am gagging/throwing up. I don't remember that being a problem with Olivia or after having her except when my bladder was super full and I had to sneeze. Being pregnant this second time around is totally different.

I know I have many many more months to go before the baby comes but the thought just came to me. Should I be nervous? How is this going to impact Olivia? How will I handle having two kids? There are days when Olivia pushes me to the edge, I can't imagine having a newborn and a toddler on those days. I read a book and half the people had an easier transition from 1-2 and others really struggled. I know I am just being a worry wart but imagine expecting moms and TTC moms think about this all the time.

Olivia amazes me

So I was lazy tonight and behind on putting Olivia to sleep but lucky for me Olivia took the initiative. She must have been tired because she found her pajamas and changed her own clothes. She even put her dirty clothes in the hamper. She got her sleeping bag and laid it out on the floor next to our bed and tucked her self in. Usually I make her sleep in her own bed but tonite I made an exception. I don't know if my two year is trying to outsmart me or she is just super responsible. Oh well. I will enjoy it for now.

On a side note I am halfway done with my Christmas shopping. :)

Christmas is just around the corner

We have less than 2 months until Christmas and I am not going to wait this year to buy presents. So my goal is to get 90% of my Christmas shopping done by December 1. I know I might be driving Mike a little crazy since it isn't Halloween yet so sorry in advance.

Anyone else already started or maybe already finished with Christmas shopping.

Olivia and Gatorade

My goal is to not post another complaint about pregnancy for today so this post is about Olivia and Gatorade. Mike bought me some gatorade last night and he told Olivia that it was juice and he gave her a sip. After she tasted it she called it popsicle juice. I thought it was cute.

Olivia is growing fast and her vocabulary is growing at a huge rate and she is getting better at forming her sentences. It is cool to see how much she learns in such a short amount of time.

She loves Toy Story 3 and watches it daily. Woody is her favorite character. Her favorite movie use to be Beauty and the Beast and she would walk around the house with her book and sing and pretend she was Belle. So imaginative.

She does and says a lot of funny stuff everyday but I am terrible with remembering lately and actually blogging it. I guess that is how it goes sometimes.

I told my boss. What a relief!

I told my boss today that I was pregnant and he was so awesome about it. He congratulated me and was genuinely happy for me. The Director of our department is actually retiring in December which means my current boss will be the interim Director and more than likely there will be organizational changes which will give me a more permanent and better position even though I am new to the organization. Talk about a lot of pressure.

My plan currently is to keep working and come back to work. Really I can't plan for anything else because there are no other concrete options. The thing that my boss said to me that made me feel so much better is to plan and work as if I was going to work after the baby comes and if I decide to quit let the department worry about that mess and not to take it upon myself to do that. Really I couldn't have asked for a better response. It really does make a difference in satisfaction in my job when my boss actually cares about his employees as people and not just workers.

On a side note, it is kind of funny to see the guys at work filter their comments and responses now that a lady is present in the room. I can't imagine what it would be like to witness an all male workforce.

Taylor Swift: Speak Now for $3.99

Heard great things about this album. Check out this post to get the details to purchase: http://www.utahdealdiva.com/2010/10/taylor-swift-speak-now-for-399.html

Pleasant surprise

So Mike and I love the birthing center. All the midwives are so nice and personable. I was too early to hear the heartbeat but luckily they gave me an ultrasound. It was so cool to see the baby. The heartbeat was strong and we saw it kicking it's feet around and jumping around like a bean. It was a nice surprise.

Olivia was very concerned when I had to get my blood drawn. She held my hand the whole time. It was sweet.

10 weeks. Finally double digits. I can only hope the morning sickness gets better but I am realistic that this could last until Christmas. But I have Thanksgivings to look forward too and Christmas and New Years and after that I will be twenty weeks and we get to find out the sex. Trying to stay positive even though I feel terrible and I sometimes wonder why did we do this again and then I remember that we will have a sweet baby this spring.

Complaining about pregnancy

So on the bright side I don't always have morning sickness daily starting last week. The bad news is when it is bad it is really bad. Yesterday was bad. Throwing up. Esophagus burning. And I haven't had a good night sleep in ages. I really miss that. And I have a love hate relationship with food. I hate to cook or eat it but if I don't then I get sick. It has been a long time I ate something and thought "Wow, that tasted really good." But then it does make me feel a lot better to finally get something in my stomach but only a few bites so I feel like I am constantly eating.

I lost weight. Probably all muscle mass but my tummy is definitely growing. My tummy is still too little to hold up maternity pants but my regular pants are getting a little too tight. I hate the in between stage. On the plus side I have my first appointment with a midwife. Hopefully I am far along enough we will hear the heartbeat.

Lazy fall days

I decided to bake some wheat bread today and wanted to make cinnamon buns so I doubled my recipe and they turned out fantastic. The wheat bread turned out great too. I was so proud I even took a picture before I put the frosting on.

Pocket size and perfect for Olivia

While Mike was unpacking yesterday Olivia discovered my pocket size hymn book and Mike's pocket size Book of Mormon. As soon as I got home from work yesterday she gave me the hymn book and we proceeded to sing "Happy Birthday." Her and the Book of Mormon have been inseparable since. She carried it around all last night, reading from it, singing from it, etc. She even had to sleep with it. I know. It was squeezed between her face and mine in the middle of the night.

To say the least, she loves it. It is the perfect size for her and maybe she senses that it really is such a special book.

Musings of an Instructional Designer longing to be a SAHM

My job is going really well. The work environment has been worth the move. After I graduated from USU I started working at the FACT center and it was the place to be. Then we got restructured and the role of an Instructional Designer got watered down and then we got restructured again and things changed for the worse. I was trained to be tech support for the LMS and have tech saavy skills in multiple learning technologies. Which was great for my position at FACT. The plus was I had excellent customer service skills.

Now I am at BSU and really this job is a job that most IDs would dream of. I don't have to deal with the LMS. My work is strictly instructional design. Wow. It has been a long time since my main focus at work was instructional design. It is nice to be pushed and stretched beyond my comfort zone. So this job is really expanding my work skills.

The conflicting feelings come from spending all this time and energy into building my career when in reality I want to be Stay-At-Home mom. I know it is a weak complaint but really I think about home atleast 5 times while I am at work. In a nutshell my brain is at work but my heart is at home. But I guess sometimes people have to sacrifice and do what they have to and not what they want. For me that is working to support my family until Mike can find a job.

Insurance and a Birthing Center

A lot of things have thrown me for a loop lately. At BSU medical benefits don't start until I have been employed for 90 days. At USU they started immediately. So the pregnancy thing was kind of a surprise so I have been calling all sorts of people to figure out COBRA versus short term insurance, dealing with finding out if pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition, etc. Big headache but I think I have it figured out.

So Mike and I would like to have a VBAC. Me more than Mike but he saw how the recovery from a c-section was a little troublesome especially considering I was stuck in the bed for a few days and had limited mobility in terms of rolling myself up and out of bed when the baby cried at night.

My old OB/GYN in Logan didn't have me schedule an appointment until I was 12 weeks so I figured I would be okay with this baby. I know a lot of people go in before then but I really liked Dr. Strebel's laid back attitude. I have been trying to find a doctor in Boise that will do VBACs but I think I have found a better solution - a birthing center with a midwife.

I found this place the Baby Place that has gotten fantastic reviews. Mike and I are going tomorrow to tour the facility and see if I can even get in. Idaho does allow midwives to perform VBACs but only if I meet certain stipulations like the baby cannot be breech, It has been atleast 18 months since I had my last baby, and the incision is a horizontal scar.

My experience having a c-section wasn't absolutely terrible but it wasn't ideal either. I think at a birthing center they will be more open to letting me labor at my own pace and doing it naturally. I was even considering a water birth.

I have read some birth stories and it totally freaks me out about the pain and all. I labored with Olivia for a really long time before I went to the hospital and I never reached the most painful part so I don't even know if I could handle it. The back labor was hard but Mike and I would like to get a doula to help us again. I think Mike got a little flustered when he saw me in that much pain and it helped to have someone else tell him what to do to relieve the pain. So if anyone knows of a great doula in the Boise area please let me know.

Pregnant :\

So Mike and I have been trying for awhile. Awhile being since March. With Olivia it happened the first month so I never had to wait and feel the disappointment of getting my period every month. Even though 6 months isn't a very long time it is when you are waiting to conceive. So I just tried to be healthy, lose some weight and get into shape.

Since we wanted to have another baby I have been very hesitant about trying to find another job even though the job I had in Logan totally sucked. A few things happened at work and I hadn't gotten pregnant and I told myself what the heck I am going to find another job. I can't stay in this crappy one waiting for me to get pregnant or for Mike to find a job so I can quit mine.

So I applied and I got this job at BSU. I accepted the job and like 2 weeks later I missed my period. What timing. I am so so happy that I was pregnant and I was happy to be moving and starting a new job and I was working out everyday and I felt fantastic. Then week 6 came and boom. Morning Sickness.

The morning sickness isn't as bad as it was with Olivia. I threw up daily with Olivia from week 6 until week 16. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. This baby I have thrown up occasionally. But being nauseous all the time is really hard. I sometimes feel like I would rather get super sick, throw up and feel better instead of constantly feeling sick. With Olivia I was tired all the time and I could sleep really well at night. With this baby, I am not quite as tired and I can't get my brain to shut up to get a good night sleep. The indigestion started last week but luckily I know to take mylanta instead of tums (which made it worse with Olivia).

I am super excited to be pregnant. Counting down the days until I am out of the first trimester. I am trying to be super excited and positive to be in a new city at a new job but lets face it - I'm pregnant, hormonal, irrational, tired, sick, and did I mention hormonal.

Settling in

So we move to Boise on Thursday and we are slowly settling in. I started my new job on Monday and it is awesome. It is nice to be part of a organization that knows what they are doing.

We moved into a 3 bd/2bath twin home with a 2 car garage so it is a huge upgrade from anything we were living in. It has a fenced yard and a half functioning swingset in the backyard but it is off the road and really close to my work.

We are about 75% unpacked. Our goal is to try to unpack 2-4 boxes everyday but it is hard to get motivated when we have been unpacking for a week. On the plus side, Mike finally put Olivia's bed together and I actually got her to go to sleep before nine in her own room and she slept there for most of the night. I say most because she woke up and came into our room but I finally took her back to her room and she promptly fell asleep. The past few weeks Olivia has been a terrorizer. Not really but for her it was pretty bad. I suspect it was because she was sleeping in our bed and she wasn't getting enough sleep or quality sleep just like me and Mike which meant everyone was on edge.

My goal is to get her back on a schedule and routine just so can all survive the next few weeks while we are in transition and just in time for day light savings adjusting. :( At this point in my life I have to celebrate every small victory. On a side note - we are expecting. But that is another post.

See you for now

My last day of work is tomorrow and I will probably be offline for atleast a week. Not that I update my blog much anymore.

Olivia is growing fast. She is starting to speak sentences now. She has been knocked off her schedule and we have been packing for the past few weeks so it has been so hectic. I hope that when we get settled in we can get her back on a schedule for everyone's sanity.

She doesn't have a bedtime anymore. She doesn't sleep in her crib so she sleep in our room on the floor in a sleeping bag. It is better than her sleeping in our bed.

Maybe one day I'll actually get pictures uploaded.